CivilPsych Services

Individuals and court-ordered clients

Anger

Nobody makes you angry. Something happens, you decide what it means and whether it was aimed at you, and the anger follows that decision.

Written by Dr. Heath, Ph.D. Neuropsychology, Ph.D. Forensic Psychology. 40+ years of cognitive behavioral work. Reviewed November 2026.

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What's really going on

What people say"He made me so mad." The sentence hands the controls to someone else.
What's usually happeningThe same remark gets a laugh from one person and fury from another. The difference is the meaning each one assigns it: disrespect, unfairness, a rule broken. Most of the time you are not even arguing with the other person. You are arguing with the version of them you built in your head. Find that meaning and you have found the part you can change.

What you might notice

  • You blow up over the same few situations again and again.
  • You replay what someone said long after it's over.
  • People around you have started watching what they say.
  • You say or do things you regret, then explain why they deserved it.
  • Your anger has cost you a job, a relationship or a day in court.

How we work on it

The same method every time: find the thought, test it, practice a better one.

  1. Map the sequenceWhat happened, what you told yourself it meant and what you did next. The trigger is never the event. It is the meaning you gave it.
  2. Find the ruleMost anger defends a rule like "people should" or "I must." We look at whether the rule holds up.
  3. Build a pauseYou practice the gap between the event and the reaction until it shows up on its own.
  4. Measure itFor court-ordered clients, progress is scored on a set schedule and reported to the court.

Questions

Is anger always bad?

No. Anger signals that you have judged something as wrong. The trouble is when the judgment is off or the reaction does damage.

Do you do court-ordered anger treatment?

Yes. Court-ordered plans name their measures and schedule at the start, and the court gets the scores.

Can I do this by video?

Yes, if you live in Arkansas or Missouri. Court-ordered work follows whatever the order requires.

Next

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